Funny words to call your friends crack#

Luke who? Luke through the peep hole and find out. Amish who? Really? You donвЂ™t look like a shoe.

Funny words to call your friends crack#

Jimmy who? Jimmy crack corn, and I donвЂ™t care! Candice who? Candice door open, or am I stuck out here? I stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was.You can check out my cereal killer Netflix special next Tuesday. A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway.WhatвЂ™s a plantвЂ™s favorite drink? Root beer!.How much teddy bears never want to eat anything? Because theyвЂ™re always stuffed.My teachers told me IвЂ™d never amount to much since I procrastinate so much.Just went to an emotional wedding - even the cake was in tiers.Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe!.He told me to stop going to those places. I told my doctor that I had broken my arm in two places.Why did the farmer win an award? He was out standing in his field!.How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh? Ten tickles.The first rule of the AlzheimerвЂ™s club isвЂ¦ Wait, where are we again?.How do you fix a broken tomato? Tomato paste!.What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.Why did the cat run away from the tree? It was afraid of the bark!.What do pampered cows produce? Spoiled milk.What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunder pants.Why were the parents so afraid of the energy drink? It was a Monster!.What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.вЂњWhy the big pause?вЂќ, asks the bartender. A bear walks into a bar and says, вЂњGive me a whiskey and вЂ¦ cola.вЂќ.Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? ThereвЂ™s no menu: You get what you deserve.Why should you never trust stairs? TheyвЂ™re always up to something.Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it did not peel well.What gets more wet the more it dries? A towel!.What do you call a cold dog? A chili dog!.вЂњGet out of here!вЂќ, shouts the bartender. Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrr!.Did you hear about the mathematician whoвЂ™s afraid of negative numbers? HeвЂ™ll stop at nothing to avoid them.IвЂ™m terrified of elevators, so IвЂ™m going to start taking steps to avoid them.Working in a mirror factory is something I could totally see myself doing.

A nurse told me, вЂњSorry for the wait!вЂќ I replied, вЂњItвЂ™s alright, IвЂ™m patient.вЂќ.What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.Why did the dog cross the road? To get to the barking lot!.WhatвЂ™s the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.There are two types of people in the world, those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.I used to be addicted to soap, but IвЂ™m clean now.Did you hear about the guy who stole a calendar? He got 12 months they say his days are numbered.Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage.Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies.Why do you smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam.Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I donвЂ™t think theyвЂ™ll fit me.What do you call an elephant that doesnвЂ™t matter? An irrelephant.An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. I got fired from my job at the bank today.What has four wheels and flies? Garbage truck.Why do mushrooms get invited to all the best parties? He was a fun-gi!.Why wonвЂ™t it hurt if you hit your friend with a 2-liter of soda? Because itвЂ™s a soft drink!.When your teacher asks вЂњWhereвЂ™s your homework?вЂќ It took a sick day.Grandma: Back in our days, you could buy bread, milk, soaps, spices, eggs, meat, all for a dollar.Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9!.Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.What do dentists call their x-rays? Tooth pics!.April FoolsвЂ™ Day Jokes To Tell Your Friends.Funny вЂKnock KnockвЂ™ Jokes To Tell Your Friends.Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends At School.